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GOP Put to Ultimate Shame by the ‘Papal Primaries’
“HOLY COW, IN CONTRAST TO THE GOP PRIMARIES BACK IN ’08, WHEN THE CANDIDATES TO SUCCEED POPE BENEDICT WERE ASKED TODAY IF ANY OF THEM DIDN’T BELIEVE IN EVOLUTION, NOT A SINGLE HAND SHOT UP TOWARD THE...
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Obama’s Plan To Win Over Even Political Illiterates on the Budget Fight
“NOW, MANY OF YOU ARE UNDERSTANDABLY CONCERNED ABOUT THE EFFECT ON FIRST RESPONDERS, BUT DID YOU ALSO KNOW THAT AS A RESULT OF SEVERE SEACRESTATION, YOU MIGHT ALSO JUST LOSE YOUR FAVORITE AMERICAN...
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What Michelle Obama at The Oscars REALLY Meant to Say
“NEVER MIND BEST PICTURE, THIS MESSAGE IS FOR THE WORST REPUBLICAN PARTY: ARGO FUCK YOURSELF.”
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How to Turn The Sequester Lemon Into ‘Lemonade’
“BYÂ CUTTINGÂ OUT JUST A SMALL PERCENTAGE OF HOUSE REPUBLICANS, WE CAN SUBSTANTIALLY ELIMINATE THE DEFICIT OF COMMON SENSE AND FAIRNESS, AND FINALLY START TOÂ REGROW THIS COUNTRY.”
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John Boehner’s Latest Sequester Proposal: The Chat & Cut
“WE’LL BEÂ PREPARED TO CHAT ALL DAY WITH THE PRESIDENT ABOUT ELIMINATINGÂ TAX BREAKS FOR CORPORATIONS AND THE WEALTHY, AS LONG AS WE CAN CUTÂ THE VITAL LIFE-LINES FOR WORKING PEOPLE AND THE POOR.”
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GOP Blows It Again, on Rosa Parks Statue
“IT’S VERY NICE, MR. PRESIDENT, BUT DON’T YOU THINK THIS PARTICULAR STATUE SHOULD BE IN THE BACK OF STATUARY HALL.”
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Dennis Rodman Continues Diplomacy Tour With Visit to Hugo Chavez
“WHILE HE ALSO LOVED BASKETBALL, HE WAS REALLY MORE STIFF THAN MOBILE, BUT HE WAS SOMEWHAT HARD TO MOVE OUT OF THE LOW POST.”
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Jeb Bush Wavers On His ‘Path’ to The White House
“I COULD TAKE THE LEGAL PATH AND TRY TO LEGITIMATELY WIN AN ELECTION …. OR I COULD TAKE THE ILLEGAL PATH LIKE MY BROTHER, AND GET TO THE WHITE HOUSE WITH THE HELP OF THE SUPREME COURT.”...
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C-Span Claims Devastating Hit By Rand Paul’s ‘Drone’
“IT WAS REALLY RELENTLESS; OUR OWN AMERICAN VIEWERS , ON OUR OWN SOIL, IN CAFES FROM SAN FRANCISCO TO HOUSTON, WERE DROPPING LIKE FLIES FROM THE UTTER STUPIDITY AND MONOTONY OF THESE WORDS …  THAT...
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White Smoke Goes Up, Over The Supreme Court!
“THIS JUST IN, JUSTICE ANTONIN SCALIA HAS ANNOUNCED HIMSELF AS THE NEW POPE, AND EXPLAINED THAT THE WHITE SMOKE REALLY INDICATES A TOTAL ABOLITION OF ALL LAWS TO PROTECT MINORITY VOTING RIGHTS.”
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Donald Trump ‘Credits’ His Immigration Policy To Led Zeppelin
We certainly don’t need any more immigrants from South of the Border, BUT we will welcome you here if : You come from the land of the ice and snow, From the midnight sun where the hot springs flow....
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Mayor Bloomberg’s Latest Crusade Has Even Upper West Side Liberals Up in Arms
“FOR NOW ON, IF THE FAT LADY STILL WANTS TO SING AT THE OPERA, SHE’LL SIMPLY HAVE TO SHED AT LEAST 50 POUNDS.”
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FOX News Hits New Low in Distorting Obama’s Israel Speech
Can you believe it, that an American President actually told the Israeli people: “Ich bin ein Berliner.”
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What the Court’s Conservatives REALLY Think About Gay Marriage
“WHAT I’M REALLY CONCERNED ABOUT IS ADOPTION BY GAYS; AREN’T THERE SOCIOLOGICAL STUDIES SHOWING THAT WHEN WE TRIED INTERRACIAL ADOPTION, WE JUST ENDED UP WITH BAD TELEVISION.” “SHOULDN’T WE GO SLOW,...
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Stephen Colbert’s ‘Word of Everyday’, to Aid Sister’s Campaign
“TRAIL” “REMEMBER, NATION, IF YOU HAPPEN TO SEE MARK SANFORD ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL, ASK HIM HOW IT FEELS TO BE TRAILING MY SISTER, AND WHETHER HE PLANS TO KEEP UP HIS ENERGY BY SNACKING ON TRAIL MIX. “
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Who Says Rutgers’ Mike Rice Won’t Get Another Coaching Gig?
“NOT ONLY DO OUR STARVING PEOPLE NEED MORE ‘RICE’ … BUT HIS TRAINING TECHNIQUES REFLECT THE WAY WE TREAT ALL OUR CITIZENS.”
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Forget Howard University, Rand Paul Really Goes ‘Old School’ at Hispanic College
“WHILE YOU USUALLY BLAME REPUBLICANS FOR BEING ANTI-HISPANIC, YOU MAY NOT KNOW THAT IT WAS A DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENT, JAMES POLK, WHO WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR REALLY KICKING YOUR ASS AND TAKING YOUR LAND IN...
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Media Hails Sender of ‘Ricin Letters’ For ‘Bipartisanship’
“Look, anyone who can send ricin-laced letters to both Barack Obama and a right-wing Senator such as Roger Wicker of Mississippi, is really showing the American people how we can overcome politics to...
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Forget Chechens, Rand Paul Seeks to Deport ‘Czech Brothers’
“AFTER THE BOSTON MARATHON BOMBING, WE REALLY HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO DEPORT THESE TWO WILD AND CRAZY GUYS, SINCE UNDER THE SECOND AMENDMENT, WE CAN’T EVEN CHECK FOR GUNS OR BOMBS UNDER THEIR BIG...
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Barbara Bush Disses The ‘Four Families,’ in Favor of The ‘Five Families’
“ENOUGH WITH MY WIMPY HUSBAND AND SONS; WE NEED SOMEONE WHO WILL MAKE THE COUNTRY AN OFFER THEY CAN’T REFUSE.”
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